Of Cyan Worlds
by Talia Karn
Summary: I've decided to stop this story, due to lack of reviews and other problems which will go unspecified. Thanks to the only person who really seemed to get enjoyment out of it.
1. The Not so Great Assigning

                                                Of Cyan Worlds

Hiya! It's me again. You may remember me from such fanfiction as 'What Makes Us Strong' and….well, I guess that's really my only published fanfiction. Recently I realized that I have neither the skill nor the patience to write another Action/Adventure story, and this idea had been stewing around in my mind for a while, so I hastily edited it and started planning out a plot. This is the result of my frantic thought process. Reviews will make me explode with glee. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Irk or its respective population and culture, nor do I own the two characters from Invader Zim that make a small appearance in this fic. However, I DO own Mariya, SALEI, Lalli and its respective population and culture, and at least partial credit for the Scout class. 

The scene is Conventia, in an area much like that used for the Great Assigning, only….empty. Not quire empty, however. Approximately thirteen Irkens are standing there—five on a platform, and ten below. What about the extra two, you ask? Well, they're not as much 'standing' as they are 'hovering'.

Tallest Red: (whispering to a nearby advisor) How long is this gonna take? We've got better things to do than assign planets to some low-life Scouts.

Advisor: (also whispering) I'm afraid it's necessary, my Tallest. The public likes to see that their more intelligent children get a job.

Tallest Red: (sighs) The public isn't even here, though….

Tallest Purple: And nobody knows who their children are, so why would they care?

The advisor shakes his head, looking a little nervous.

Advisor: Ah…just do it, my Tallest, it'll be over soon.

Tallest Red: (no longer whispering) Fine. Citizens of Irk! All thirteen of you. We proudly welcome you here today to see the Not-so-Great Assigning! As you probably know, the Not-so-Great Assigning is where we assign planets to the Irkens that are too smart to be civilians, too tall to be Service Drones, and too wishy-washy to be in the Armada.

Tallest Purple: What he really means is that we'd throw you out an airlock, but the (sneers) _public_ doesn't like that, so we have to just throw you on some distant planet and hope you die there.

The ten Irkens not on the platform look at the floor, obviously unhappy with their rulers' decision but too loyal to speak up.

Tallest Red: So, yeah…let's dispense with the formalities and tell you which corner of the galaxy you're technically banished to. Scout Zeppelin!

A purple-eyed Irken in a stripeless blue uniform walks up to the platform, just as nervous as all the others.

Tallest Purple: You've been 'assigned' to the southeast sector of…..(points to a map labeled 'Stuff') this place. Yeah. 

Zeppelin nods sadly, takes the map, and walks off to a corner.

The assigning continues until there's only one Scout left, a red-eyed female in the same uniform. Her antennae are slightly curved at the end, and she's probably about five inches taller than Zim.

Tallest Red: Scout Mariya, you're assigned to….(points at another map, this one labeled 'Junk') the northern corner of the Junk galaxy. Mmmyep. Now, let's go see the equipment manager and finish this charade.

Quietly, the Scouts walk towards another part of the area. The platform follows them. This section has a line of what looks like smaller, purple Voot Runners, and a pile of strange robots.

Tallest Purple: (picking up one of the robots) This here is a SALEI unit, so called because they're standard-issue average life expectancy increasers. With the addition of the SALEI, a Scout can expect to live for nearly three days!

Tallest Red: (motioning towards the Runners) And these are Zith Runners. If you really needed me to tell you that, then you're not nearly intelligent enough to be a Scout.

Advisors: Take a SALEI, take a Zith, and get out of here. 

The platform floats away from the group of Scouts, leaving them alone and forlorn. Mariya picks up one of the SALEIs, looking the strange little thing over. It appears to be much the same as a SIR unit….but with only one optic that stretches completely around its head, three antennae, no visible neck, and a slightly more orange tint to the non-gray parts of its coloring. She presses a button on its back, and the SALEI whirrs into life, its optics brightened to orangey-red.

SALEI: SALEI, reporting for duty! 

Mariya: Er…okay, then. Let's go, SALEI.

Mariya climbs into one of the Zith Runners, and takes a seat on a green chair situated in front of a control panel. SALEI hops onto a purple cushion-stool-thing.

Mariya: I've never really flown before…back at the Academy, they only let me near the street vehicles.

SALEI: It's part of my programming to fly one of these. You never know when you're going to be chased by a Clashian and need all the additional speed you can get to prevent you from meeting death with nasty, sharp, pointy teeth….

Mariya: (staring) Are you always like that?

SALEI: (in a somewhat spooky tone of voice) It is _good_ to be prepared.

Mariya: Oookay…let's just get to that planet, shall we? Here…

She hands the 'map' to SALEI, pointing at the appropriate corner.

SALEI: Ah, the Junk Galaxy. Only one known planet there, plus a moon. It'll take about ten months to get to there.

SALEI's fingers veritably fly over the control panel, typing in coordinates at a startling speed. She tries to sit back and relax, but falls off the cushion-stool-thing.

Mariya: Ten months? What am I supposed to do until then? I didn't bring anything to read.

SALEI opens her chest plate, and pulls out a rectangular box. Mariya brightens up immediately.

Mariya: Jen-ken! Hallejulah!

The scene fades away as SALEI sets up the game, which looks remarkably like checkers, on another one of the cushion-stool-things. Ten months of drifting out in space with only a strange little robot for company and a single game for entertainment. Things don't look too pleasant for poor rejected Mariya….but they can(and will) get much, much worse.

Kind of a short chapter. I've got a picture of that last scene, but due to my lack of a scanner, I can't put it up….gah. Anyway, like I said before, reviews will make me eternally grateful! And don't forget: plastic!


	2. Arrival

Chapter Two

Nobody reviewed. 

After approximately 9627 games of Jen-ken, 39 karaoke competitions, 812 staring contests, 74 discussions of Jen-ken strategy, 4351 conversations about what the new planet might be like, and far too many awkward silences to count….

Mariya: Look! We're almost there!

Indeed, a small planet is visible through the viewing shield. Milky blue oceans, almost completely green continents, a tiny gray moon orbiting nearby—this is it.

SALEI: Ooh, pretty. Doesn't look too dangerous from up here, but as you know, danger _never_ shows until it's too late. Far, far too late….and then it's THE TEETH!

Mariya: …teeth? Oh, never mind….can you calculate how long it'll be until we're close enough to land?

SALEI: 'bout a day, unless we set this thing into hyperdrive, send it zooming into the moon, get a boost off it, and cause a huge crater when we land….if we do that, and I really wouldn't recommend it because it would get us KILLED, it'll take ten minutes or so.

Mariya: Possible death and insane maneuvers, or another day with only you for company? I think I'll take the risk, thank you very much. Engage hyperdrive! Or something…

SALEI gives Mariya a very strange look, but types in a command to the control panel. Nothing happens. 

SALEI: Eh? Why isn't it respondiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii—

And then, something does happen! The Zith Runner shoots crazily towards the moon at roughly five times its normal speed, crashes smack-dab onto the moon's surface, bounces off, and plummets down to the planet, only to land in a spectacular display of terra flying everywhere. The viewing shield pops open, and a very bedraggled SALEI falls out. Mariya, twitching and with a shell-shocked expression on her face, at least manages to walk out of the Zith Runner before collapsing.

Mariya: Let's….never….do….that….again.

SALEI: The ship probably doesn't have enough energy to take on another hyperdrive, anyway. 

The two push themselves up from the ground, and survey their new surroundings. Lots of green. Trees, bushes, vines, flowers, it's quite definitely a jungle here. Not too far away, a large expanse of milky-blue water is visible, lined by a nice sandy beach and plenty of rocks. Some heads are poking up out of the water….

Mariya: I don't suppose the locals would be happy to just tell me the planet's name, their name, a slight cultural status, and a description of the typical person around here, would they?

SALEI: Well, I don't know, they might attack us with their nasty sharp pointy TEETH….but I'll go ask.

Ever the optimist, isn't she? The heads start talking excitedly as SALEI nears them, and several rise out of the water to reveal light blue humanoid bodies. Probably their most distinctive feature is the fact that their legs are webbed, making the lower portion of their body look much like a big fin. At a closer glance, you'd notice that they've got small holes on each side of their heads, nostrils(closed at the moment, since they were swimming) but NOT a nose, strange thick semicircular lips, webbed fingers/toes, gills on their neck, and a line running from their ankles to their shoulders on each side of their body. All in all, they look—there simply isn't another word for it—fishy.

SALEI: Hello there! We're census takers from the planet Irk, and it's our job to ask you a few questions….

Fish-person: Lalli lulo! Leeai nalla?

SALEI: I'm afraid I don't understand, sir. If you wait just a minute, my programming will analyze your language, and we'll be able to converse.

SALEI's optics flicker briefly to a SIR-red, and there's a small humming sound that turns to a beep.

SALEI: Processing….done. Hello?

Fish-person: Hello! New Lalli?

Mariya: SALEI, I really don't understand what they're saying. 

SALEI: No problem, ma'am. Simply give me your hand.

Mariya does so, looking a little puzzled. With a click and a whirr, one of SALEI's fingers extends a needle, and she jabs it into Mariya's wrist.

Mariya: YEOWCH! Ow….that HURT.

SALEI: Good. It's supposed to. Right now there should be some nano-bots running through your bloodstream, emitting the language in brief radio waves that add the knowledge to your brain, assuming, that is, that I estimated your height correctly…otherwise they'll be telling your heart how to speak Lalli, in which case it'll go crazy, and the rapid beating will kill you instantly. Or it might be transmitting to your antennae, which would make you very twitchy and highly sensitive to sound to the extent of going deaf when something loud happens.

Mariya: *wincing* I think it worked…hmm….Hi there! My name's Mariya, and this is SALEI. Who are you?

Fish-person: Lilly! Mah-ee-ha and SALEI no look like Lalli. Where from?

SALEI: Mah-ee-ha, eh? Maybe they can't say the letter R. We're from….someplace far away. Can you answer a few of our questions?

Lilly: Yes!

Mariya: I remember what to do from training, SALEI, so you probably don't need to talk for me anymore. Ahem. This planet is called Lalli, correct? Are your language and species also called Lalli?

Lilly: We're all Lalli! Voices Lalli, people Lalli, land Lalli.

Mariya: What's the planet like? Any particularly large resources available here?

Lilly: …we got a lot of water…..and plants. Lots of plants.

SALEI: What my partner means is, do you have any interesting things in rocks? Shiny things? Plants that make a decent nacho substitute?

Lilly: Oh, those things! Shiny rock hard to find. Nacho sound funny.

SALEI: Great. We got stuck with the worthless planet. No resources, incredibly stupid people, and nasty sharp pointy TEETH just WAITING to come after us! Well, our job's done, really….we can go back to Irk and report to the Tallest about the names and things so the technicians can plug it into the database.

Mariya: (looking thoughtful) I don't know, I kind of like it here….on Irk there aren't a lot of landscapes like this. And the people don't seem to be stupid as much as friendly….children, almost.

SALEI: …so I got stuck with the worthless master, too. Come on, let's get going! The faster we leave the faster we'll get back.

Mariya: Just a little longer, SALEI. We can report back with the ship's built-in com link. 

SALEI: The ship has a built-in com link? Why didn't you tell me that before? We could have used it to talk to somebody besides ourselves.

Mariya: (shrugging) I just thought of it, that's all. Don't most Runners have a com link? It makes sense that the Zith would have one too.

SALEI: Fine. One week, and then we go back.

Mariya: Yay! You go to the ship and report, I'll talk with these people some more. And find out what that 'water' substance is.

SALEI would probably have rolled her optics if that was possible, but she walked back to the ship. After a little fiddling around, the com link was located, and an image of the Tallest appeared on a screen.

SALEI: Greetings, my Tallest! The mission goes well, seeing as nasty sharp pointy TEETH have not yet showed up. Scout Mariya's planet is called Lalli, as are the people and language. Not a lot of resources except for plants and something called 'water', which Mariya is finding out about right now.

(in the background: "GAH! IT BUUUUUURNS!")

SALEI: ….from the sound of it, water is completely useless unless it can be turned into a weapon of some sort. We'll stay here another week and return to Irk. Any questions?

Tallest Purple: No….but you're the first Scout team to report back, so we'll let you actually _come_ back to Irk. Eh, if there's time for it you'll get a medal or something.

Tallest Red: If you see any other Scouts, tell them that they're officially banished and can't return. Ever. 

SALEI: It's unlikely, but we shall do so if that event pops up. SALEI out.

The screen retracts back into the ship, and SALEI looks out over the horizon. No base-building capabilities, no disguises….they're lucky that the planet's inhabitants are friendly. At least, the ones they've met so far. Lalli appears to be a fairly quiet, peaceful place—too bad it'll be conquered once an Invader gets freed up. Master Mariya won't like that, but she's just a Scout. The Tallest don't care what she thinks.

Sorry I haven't updated in a long time…..reviews will be much appreciated.


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